Vince: He’s been sedated for 9 months. All of the experiments have failed. What do we do now?
HHH: I dunno, pop… This guy won’t break. Every time we wake him up he demands to know who we are and where he is. We can’t keep this up much longer. Hold on. He’s waking up again.
Presle: Jesus Christ. My fucking head hurts. So does my ass. What the fuck is going on here?
Vince in a disguised voice: Are you ready to give in Josh?
Presle: Give in to what? Who the hell are you? WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?
Vince: Quiet! We’ll ask the questions here. Shock him.
(HHH hits shock button)
Presle: HOLY BUTTFUCKING NUNS IN A PRIUS! IT HURTS SO BAD! Y GOD Y.
Vince: This clearly isn’t working. I think it’s time.
HHH: Vader time?
Vince: SILENCE! It’s time we address him face to face.
HHH: Dad no! what if he gets away? He could tell everyone!
Vince: That’s a risk I’m willing to take. There’s no other way.
(Door flies open)
Vince: WELCOME EVERYONE. TO MONDAY NiGHT RAAAAAAAAAW!
Presle: No. Fucking. Way.
Vince: You little shit! You think we didn’t read that garbage you posted on the internet?
Presle: Do I get a nickname?
Vince: Fuck no! You’ve been making fun of us. And now it’s time-
Presle: Ooh! Vader time?
Vince: SHUT UP. It’s payback time! HHH and I can handle your jokes. But we can’t say the same for everyone.
(door flies open)
Cena: THE CHAMP. IS. BUTTHURT.
Presle: Oh dear lord. Can you guys just kill me?
Cena: Yo, I read that shit you posted on that site. It made me really sad and I cried all night.
Presle: What the hell…
Vince: You made a grown man cry! What do you have to say for yourself?
Presle: I… THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME! Who else read my shit? Did Orton go Benoit on himself?
Vince: That’s a fucking sick thing to say.
Presle: What, Benoit? Heh.
Vince: Okay, that’s pretty funny. BUT ON TO OTHER MATTERS.
Presle: Like how you kidnapped meand no one has tried to find me?
Vince: They all think you’re in prison.
Presle: Well shit.
Vince: That’s right. We’ve thought of everything. You’re all ours!
Presle: But how did you find me?
Vince: That’s simple-
(door marked “push” is pulled for five minutes then flies open)
Disembodied Voice: Hey guys, I just got back from K-Mart. Check out my new John Cena gear!
Presle: You son of a bitch! I let you sleep near my couch! I fed you! I LET YOU DO MY LAUNDRY! This is the thanks I get?
DV: Don’t worry Josh. They only want to help improve the site.
Presle: What? What the hell kind of improvements could Vince want to make? Unless…
Vince: That’s right. We’re going to make you Cena’s #1 fan! MOVE OVER STEVE DEMAIN.
To be continued…