*WWE trainer's room. Randy Orton is sitting on the table, being examined by WWE doctors*
HHH: What do you think happened to him, doc?
Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS: He needs a root canal and fillings. You've been eating too much candy, Orton!
HHH: Uh, you're not a real doctor Glenn.
*Yankem removes his dentists gear*
Glenn Jacobs: You're right, I just play one on TV. Hey, since I'm done with that, do you have a moment to discuss Ron Paul?
Randy Orton: Ron Paul? Political LEGEND? I'LL RKO HIM BACK TO THE TEA PARTY!
*HHH sighs loudly*
Glenn: Fine then. Later, sheep.
*Glenn raises his arms, and then lowers them, disappearing in a burst of flames*
*ground rumbles*
*trainers room door flies open*
Vince: WELCOME EVERYONE. TO MONDAY NIGHT RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
HHH: Hey dad, you're just in time. Do you know what's wrong with Randy? He's acting strange.
Vince: Never mind that. Did you see that SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION just now? Maybe that'll happen to Cena and Bryan at Summerslam!
HHH: I seriously doubt that.
Vince: Now to my first order of business, ORTON. Son, I see what's going on here.
HHH: *stunned* You... you do?
Vince: Of COURSE I do. You see, Robert here just needs a reminder of his past.
Orton: It's Randy.
*Christian & Miz appear out of nowhere*
Christian: Randy? Riley!
Miz: Riley? Randy!
Christian: Riley!
Miz: Randy!
R-Truth: LITTLE JIMMY!!!
*all 3 disappear*
HHH: Apparently this is 2011. Anyways pop, his past?
Vince: Right, his past. Remember Rated RKO?
Randy: Rated RKO?
Vince: Exactly! You see, I brought back your partner, EDGE!!!
*trainer room door flies open*
Kassius Ohno: YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME?!?!
*HHH stares in complete shock*
HHH: No way, this guy's too small to be Edge.
Ohno: I... uh... lost some weight since I've been away?
Orton: EDGE! Hey buddy, great to see you. You ready to go win the tag team titles from a team clearly not as good as us?
Ohno: OH YEAH.... I mean, kazoos rule! KO... I mean, SPEAR!
HHH: *whispering to Vince* Pop, Kassius isn't Edge.
Vince: I know that, but imitation is close enough. Besides, this guy's JACKED.
HHH: Oh yeah? Watch this.
*to Ohno*
HHH: Hey "Edge", who's your favorite tag team partner of all time?
Ohno: CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI!!! KINGS OF WRESTLING!!!
Orton: What the hell?!?
*RKO's Ohno*
Vince: That reminds me! Not Edge, your nickname is FLATLINE. Because that's how much of a pulse your career has right now! GET SOME MUSCLES!
HHH: I guess we'll have to try something else...
Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of "Randy Orton Becomes Watchable", coming soon!